Divorce Court

So, I went to divorce court the other day.

I went with a friend of mine, a good friend, one of my best friends, in fact. This divorce had been a long time coming, and I don't want to give too many details because the point is the experience of divorce court.

So we walked into the courthouse, and I started to get nervous, the way you do when you have a big exam coming up. We got security checked and went up a big set of stairs. Their names "Smith vs. Smith" were on a video monitor along with ten or so other couples' names who were divorcing that day. We sat on a bench to wait for her lawyer, who was wonderful...very matter-of-fact and compassionate, and wanting to make sure all the details were included and we knew what to expect.

We waited in this hall. Now, it was a normal looking hall, but there were about ten or fifteen well-dressed people there, women, men, and their lawyers. Every time the door would open to this hall the air would just tense up, and everyone would look up to see if it was HIM or HER coming in the door.

Her soon-to-be ex showed up late, as is typical of him, and was dressed like a slob. But that's beside the point because then we proceeded into the courtroom. It was a real courtroom with a judge (a lovely woman with a kind face), benches, a witness stand, bailiffs (the dudes with the badges and earpieces, inexplicably), and then us...the two lawyers, my friend, her ex, and me, sitting on the benches in the back. This may sound dumb, but I hadn't pictured the courtroom to look so, I don't know, REAL.

I was freaking out, and more so when her ex's lawyer looked at me and said, "you're going to be a witness, too" after he called the ex to the stand. I thought I was going to throw up. This was not in the plan, but whatever I needed to do.

They had to establish the case that they had actually been apart for a year, because that was the grounds for the divorce. His lawyer asked him some questions, and then called me to the stand. I had to raise my right hand, swear to tell the truth, and then sat down. The lawyer asked me my name, profession (!), place where I live, and how I know my friend. He asked how often we talk on the phone, and then he asked "if they would have gotten back together, would she have called you?" I said, "probably." It was so bizarre, like being asked to testify at a Jerry Springer show. Then he asked some more questions, such as, was I surprised to hear they were separating? I just wanted to make sure that I didn't mess it up...I didn't...but I was so scared I was going to say the wrong thing. But it was fine, and then I got excused and they called my friend to the stand.

Then the questions started coming for the two of them. Did they understand the agreement? Were they coerced into signing it? Did they think it was in the best interest of their minor child? Did they understand that it was effective now (meaning, ex, pay the child support already!) And then the kicker...was there anything the court could do to reconcile the two of them?

They both emphatically answered, at the same time, even, "No."

My main feeling was that if you are going through all of this mess, all of this legal business and pain and forms and lawyers, then it was truly THAT BAD. And for that I am grateful that divorce exists. I think that if you were having some problems, as all couples do, but nothing too serious, that you might walk into that courtroom and walk right back out again, because of the seriousness of it, the court and the judge and the bailiffs and everything.

But sometimes it is THAT BAD. I hate that, and I wish I could fix it, and apparently so does the state of South Carolina. But if they cannot, hopefully they'll end like this judge did...she tapped the gavel and wished both of them luck. And I do too.