My son, the lovely baby J, is into feather boas. His sister got a bunch of princess clothes for Christmas (see below), one of the accessories being a pink feather boa. And baby J is really into it. I always hear my friends' husbands say something like, "whoa, you've got to watch out for that!" or some such...even if it's joking. But what it did the other day was give me tears in my eyes.
My friend, Bradley, is on trial by our church right now. Yesterday, I was privileged to host the prayer room provided for those who were a part of the trial or there for support of Bradley and Darin (his partner). There weren't a ton of people who came down, so I had a bit of time to pray and think (unusual in my world) about what was going on.
A circle of empty chairs was in the chapel room where I was, each draped with a stole. I looked at the empty chairs and I could not help but think of the feather boa. What if one of my children is gay? I hope and pray that as with all things I could support them, pray for them, tell them they could be and love anything and anyone they choose.
But as it stands in my church right now, I could not do that. I would have to tell my child that since he or she loves someone the same sex as him or her that he or she could not be a pastor in the church that I love and have served, and that they have been since before they were born.
I have known this for a while, but I guess it came home to me as a mother while looking at those empty chairs with their empty stoles. Bradley's mother is here with him, and I though that it is both wonderful and awful that she is with him through this. Wonderful, of course, because she's showing up for her kid as, in my opinion, a mama needs to do. Awful, because she has to watch him endure a trial for loving someone so much that he wants to spend the rest of his life with him.
So please pray for Bradley and Darin. Pray for his mom. Pray for our church. Pray that the Spirit would move in mysterious ways, in ways that we can't even think about yet. Pray that minds and hearts would be always opening, opening, opening, never closing, to possibilities and people.
Mostly, please pray that no more mothers and fathers have to watch their children be tried and rejected by the church that they love and to which they've given their life's work. Thank you.
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2 comments:
as i read this i couldn't help but wonder why someone "in this day and age" would be on trial by a church. and then there it was. he is gay. and i in my own world being a different denomation could not fathom that such an at still goes on. and i now see that it does. and how lucky i am to have been raised and loved in the church that i belong to. and also be able to be a minister in said denomation. i will pray for him and his mother. and for other people/denomation/whatever to be more open.
We are E. Lutheran as well and have been avoiding really dealing with this issue -- err, we've been not going to church specifically because of the failure of the church to take any action on it. DH and I are considering switching to UCC because of this issue. It's something that weighs pretty heavy on me -- Leah hasn't been baptized because of it.
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