Young Leaders (or, I get carded at a church function)

I just got back from a conference at our churchwide assembly in Chicago. To tell you the truth, I mainly went at first because a) it was mostly FREE, b) a few of my friends were going, c) it was in Chicago, d) um, FREE!

I'm at the point in my (for lack of better terms) faith journey where I'm religious, but not spiritual so much. I practice disciplines that I know are good for my relationship with God, but I don't get so much of the goose-bump-y happy God feeling that I used to get in say, high school or college. However, they do happen, and when they do I am always surprised and always crazily grateful for them.

Last week was one of them. I had a moment of realization as I sat in a Starbucks on Michican Avenue that I had not skipped out on one bit of the conference (er, unless you count that moment when I was, in fact, sitting in the Starbucks). That is way out of character for me...I'm a skipper-outer. I sit in the back so I can jet out if it doesn't appeal to me. That's just how I deal with church conferences. But this one, I stayed in. I realized why--it was because I wasn't on the fringes. I sat in a room with 90 of my peers, my true peers, women and men who were under 32 and mostly ordained and struggling to find where they fit in ministry and life. It was the closest thing that I've experienced since church camp, back in high school, where I sat in a room and knew that everyone's concerns and prayers and experiences so closely mirrored my own that we had our own shorthand and could begin conversations in the middle without all those crazy introductions (yes, a PASTOR, not a youth pastor, the PASTOR, I preach, etc).

It was an insanely beautiful thing.

I even got to feel old and wise because I was only one of two participants with more than one child, and I had been ordained the longest, six years. I got to hear amazing women's voices who were frustrated with their organization's higher-up's lack of listening to what they needed in a call, and I got to hear someone describe the candidacy system as "fucked-up" (to much applause).

I got to partake of the open bar with my new and old friends, and yes, I got carded, for being a "young pastor" trying to enjoy herself. Hilarious.

It ended for me like any mountaintop experience...not wanting to come down, but knowing that somewhere, your PEOPLE are out there, and they are with you. We'll call, we'll email, we'll maybe do it again, but mostly, we'll know that there are others like us, trying to figure it all out, trying to do the best we can in a world where we're still on the edges.