Subversive

Anne Lamott has this great quote that I can't quite find. Every time I try, I get bogged down in reading whatever chapter it is, I get all teary, and I keep reading for a half hour or so until I say, again, "crap!" Can't find it. Anyways, it is something about "The most subversive thing you can do is show up for your life, and not be ashamed."

It's such a lovely passage...it's occuring to me now that it might be in the baby book...about how society has told us (meaning women, meaning minorities, meaning anyone who's the least bit different) that really our lives are so pathetic that we shouldn't even show up for them. And if we do show up for them, we should at least have the decency to feel ashamed. So, she says, the most subversive thing you can do is to show up for your life, and to not be ashamed.

I have trouble with this, to say the least.

I live in a part of the country where this is not only encouraged, but nearly enforced in certain circles. What you wear, what kind of lipstick you're wearing, how you speak to your children, etc, etc, etc. I tend to be in the middle in a lot of cases (see a below blog) or on the left in other cases.

But here's the thing...I really like my life right now, especially since I'm gainfully (and happily!) employed. I love where my kids go to school and I love that they're old enough to have Movie Night and I love that they go to sleep sweetly and mostly sleep all night. I love my Subaru and my house, which relative to where I live is small, and relative to the global community is way too big. I love running enough miles so that I'm calm for the rest of the day.

It's only when I let myself compare it to other lives, which may or may not be how I see them, that I don't like it, that I feel ashamed as a parent, pastor, or person.

So I'm going to renew my vow, in honor of all the possibilities opened by the election (yay!), to show up for my life, to not be ashamed.