Lent, Yoga, and Lands End

So I gave up two things for Lent this year, actually. I gave up one very consciously, which was meat, AGAIN, and it's going fine. I miss it more this year but it's not a huge deal.

I gave up something else, sort of spur of the moment and out of some necessity, and it is driving me a little bit crazy. I decided, after looking at my spare spending cash (not much) and plans for the spring (many races, two trips), that I should give up buying clothes and shoes for Lent.

Buying clothes and shoes is primarily how I soothe myself. I don't say that proudly...just trying to be honest, here. After giving up so very many things in the past few years that I used use to soothe myself, now, when I need a fix, I buy a new shirt or new pair of shoes.

I don't go crazy with spending, even, I'm not that kind of girl. I just browse the Goodwill or the Target or the mall sales and I'm lulled into some kind of peace. When I actually purchase something, it momentarily makes me happy, and it makes me happy again when I wear it the next day. I can't explain it; it just feels good. Shopping endorphins, I've heard it called. Whatever.

So it has been much, much, harder than I ever expected. I really don't have the money anyway, so it was a great and practical idea in theory, but I am SO missing the fix! I got a coupon for a whopping $20 off a pair of shoes on a shoe site that I frequent. The cutest bathing suit in the world is on a giant sale at Lands End right now. And I will admit that both are in my virtual "shopping cart" and if they are still available when Lent is over I will be purchasing them immediately.

I'm also doing a lot of yoga this Lent, from this podcast. It is pretty much the hardest yoga I've ever done, and I sort of love it (my partner is now calling the guy my new boyfriend). He asks you to sit with discomfort, to make friends with it, to breathe through it, because "only when you want to come out of a post does the yoga begin."

So with my aching quads I'm trying to "sit" with my discomfort at not buying the swimsuit, at not buying the shoes. Voices are yelling at me at every turn....it's on SALE! it's in your SIZE! what if they sell OUT?! But I'm doing my best to just sit with the discomfort, to visit my swimsuit and my shoes on their respective sites and not hit the "Buy" button, to breathe through it all. Happy Lent.