We had a church picnic to basically say goodbye to everybody. Well, it was good, because it reminded me why the church needed to close, and it was bad, because it reminded me of all the other times I've felt like this.
First of all, we went to a shelter for the picnic that a member had reserved. He said it had a grill by it....no grill, of course, when we got there. Nobody else got there until at least 15 minutes late and I had to pick up buns and burgers because what my church really should have been called was Church of the "Somebody else will do it."
Finally, the families came, and we went to a different picnic shelter. Some craziness with the grill happened, and the charcoal heated slowly, and someone had to go get a hibachi at the dollar store, but then it heated up and we ate together.
And I'll get right to it....I'm bitter because nobody got me anything.
I got cards for my assistant, our musician, and our child care person, plus small gifts. I got nothing. And I'll tell you...this is mostly about me but not all. I'm hurt because when a pastor leaves, even if the church closes with her, I think that at least a card would be nice. I didn't realize how much I wanted to have something to remember the congregation by until nobody came forward with anything. And it really, really hurt.
But it confirmed for me (and perhaps this is the gift?) that we are doing the completely and totally right thing by closing the church. No evil spirit still exists, just indifference. And that is just as bad.
Still pondering all this and praying for it not to fester, but to become a lesson for me.
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9 comments:
I am so sorry to hear this. How incredibly thoughtless of them, and a clear illustration of the "somebody else will do it" syndrome. (((chickpastor)))
Yep, you pegged it right about why it is closing and that is what happens to a lot of churches. I am sorry that they did not recognize you and your ministry in some way. God bless Chickpastor for her work of love in and for this church. Help her know in some way that you recognize and value her.
This stinks. Clearly a dysfunctional group...
God knows what you did and God is holding you tight.
Hugs.
Two words, Chickpastor: That sucks.
I don't think these comment sections will allow for groovy graphics, but here is a card from me:
Thank you, Chickpastor
for your service to God's people
and for your example
to all women
who seek to do ministry.
God's blessings to you
in all your future endeavors.
Yep, what they all said, and then some... God be with you.
I just read your last three posts. What an act of trust in God's grace. What an amazing and painful journey. Thank you for writing so powerfully and honestly. We do serve a God of death...and resurrection. I expect that the resurrection will be come in surprising and wonderful ways for you (and them)...but it will perhaps occur more slowly than three days.
What everyone said.
Thinking of you as you travel away from the Church of Indifference and into your future.
Thank you for writing about this.
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Big Hugs, Chickpastor. I was pastor of a little church that closed a year ago. It is incredibly sad and personally painful even if you are as clear as you can be that it is the right thing to do.
Hugs. Late ones, but hugs none-the-less.
You have been held in prayer these couple of weeks -- and I know exactly how it feels -- I've felt it too.
They always expect the pastor to do it...
But it still sucks.
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